Pause the Circle of Life, Please

handed fear like a gift
smiling with a thank you
and I carried it to her door
hidden, tucked above my lungs
making each breath a chore
fighting the inevitable
because partings hurt
where the knife (the life) separates
yet hope bears my weight
even burdened with fear
and so she chatters on
oblivious or simply numb
to the tension in my limbs
having seen it before
that I let go
not forgetting or accepting
but denying for the sake of joy
because courting sorrow
only tints the hours
never slowing the hands